My life as always is a mess, I fight and struggle and fight on.
I have no where left to talk.
I have no where left to run.
I return to this blog to try and sort my mind.
My mind is so in turmoil and running through every possibility of events and out comes.
As always my mind will do, often taking seconds to see the right way to go.
My future has never been clear to me and probably never will.
The choices I have to make or the choices I don't get to make lead me round in circles.
Pushed down by depression which is fighting my sanity, controlling my alcohol addiction, trying to get my own life and affairs in order.
Attempting to be what every one expects me to be. Trying to make a name for myself and get plans to work.
Trying to improve myself and working hard to deal with the knock backs and rejections.
This all takes its toll, and the constant reminder of from my body that I am not able to burn the candle at one end let alone both.
So I am once more left to typing into this in a way to organise my mind.
Hope that one day everything that is ripping me to pieces ends and the world rolls round once more in its correct orbit.