What shapes our lives?
What forges us to be what we are?
Where do these memories that fade come from and go to?
Where do these things we see but never understand fall into place?
A year of turbulence in the beginning and now at the end.
A year of highs, lows, and madness, like everyone else the year has had its amazing moments and its horrible ones.
So I sit putting my head together not for you, but for me as I always do at this time of year.
As we get ready to say goodbye to the 12 year in the 20th century.
We remember the good, we remember the bad, we never forget the beautiful and we always push forward for new experiences, new highs, new lows, and new interests to be discovered.
What the 13th year holds for us all we won't know till it arrives and then with the magnificence of what is hindsight we will look back in 52 weeks and see where we could have improved, where we could have been better, where we could have done worse and where we lost control of the things that mattered to us.
As we all do now, as we prepare to celebrate the coming of this new year.
We all sit panicking looking back at what has happened and shaped the year, be it consciously or subconsciously.
I can't say I am better or worse than anyone else, these are just words I type out before me while I shift images and memories in my head from one place to another, as I remember holding that person as they cried on my shoulder, as I recall how I was helped up when I fell to the floor as my body gave way beneath me. The smile from a child we never knew that rang out radiantly when they did something amazing for the first time though to you and me it was something we had been doing all our lives.
The perfection in the way the sun lit the sky and how the darkness came early with the rain. The snow that washed away the darkness in the night and the stars that sparkled always so bright.
What the new year holds for us all? Only you can find that, all of you.
What I Wish my year holds for me. What it always holds for me surprises, twists, turns and that smile I adore.
Its with these words I end 2012 heading into 2013 not with promises to myself to improve who I am or how I live, to give up the habits I should have given up decades ago. But to wish you all the best of luck and hope and luck in what ever you strive to do. There is nothing without hope and we all need it from time to time.
So Have a happy new years celebration world. I hope to see you on the other side of it.
And if I don't just remember a world is what you make it. Your dreams can come true. If you try as hard as you can to make them come true.
Just find the right words, the right ways, and the right ideas, and you will get there in the end.