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Saturday, 28 September 2013

The world owes me nothing.

A world we live in we create our fates, we live to a plan designed by ourselves and wander the earth to find what we are, we work together we work alone, we live as groups we live as hermits, we move through shadows and we move through light. We question everything, we ask of nothing but nothing is ever owed to us and nothing will ever be. We do our jobs, we create the messes we live in, we watch our dreams unfold and die, we watch our beliefs expand and explode, we understand lots we learn we live we thrive and we adapt, for that is one of mans greatest gifts to adapt, to change. We are shaped by what we do, how we live, who we see, interactions and possibilities. One word here one word there our minds alter and adjust to take in the new information, and we carry on watching the world as it goes one. What we do in our youth what happens to us as we grow they shape and change us into the things we become.
Every action has a reaction, its a general known law of science. You do one thing something will happen.
Butterfly effect also not really a law more a theory, though not a proven one but still the ripples we make in a pool spread out changing the things around them.
They say we are all connected by 6 degrees of separation, an with modern technology this is possibly a lot less now you know me, I know you and I know her who somehow knows him who then knows her which is related to her and she knows the brother of you. Yet as humans go we are all connected as we feel empathy when things happen in mass and we feel different emotions for different acts as the world tells us what has happened. 
We also bound and pair and make connections with one and others. Me see things and our minds race, we feel things and our hearts beat a little faster, we lose those things and fall away and the world seems empty and dark, we find more and this fills the holes and we keep wandering but we return and we realise and we think, we try to fit in where we can and we carry on living and breathing not always for us but for those we love those we care for and those who without the other would end up becoming lost in the time that was.

My mind races with possibilities and events I have a way of seeing every possible path and every result for every action before I do it. Yet I also know that something I can never avoid. They are set in stone from the day we were born, yet this contradicts my earlier statement of our fates are what we make. 
Surely if we make our fates and define our destinies through what we do though surely then these events can't already be set in stone and need to be lived out?

But then its a path. An paths fork and twist and turn and change and one thing done today which will cause the other paths to fall into line does not mean the events will happen. Though things move and change as time progresses and me, well I predicted my own death long ago and it should have happened, a random moment in history where I just declared I'd be dead by 17 probably by a drunk driver and then just before I was 17 said drunk driver ran me over. Now did I predict this or was I just talking big in school one day? No one will ever know but the friend reminds me every time I see him and this is why he won't talk to me no more.

So we change the path I didn't die, well I did but then I came back never worked that one out never going to don't ask. Most say I am here for a higher purpose, I don't think I am, I just think I have a strong will and my mind was able to keep me going. 

Digression. Sorry.

So we walk a path and these things feel right sometimes they feel wrong but we wander along as always doing what we do, things make sense nothing make sense and we carry on regardless until we come to a decision and then we change the path. Don't we?
The possibilities once more become endless as we wander and we know the way but we lose the way and return to it another day as paths do move and they do rejoin many times. Crossing and weaving as we go through our daily lives and while one action by one may mean another action to another these things move forward in time and things adjust around us and reform and rebuild.
I do believe in Destiny. I believe in Fate. Though I also think we can go so far off course with what we plan things will alter and new things happen, once more the belief in these things don't always make them true as reality shifts and the paths move in and out. So is everything defined or do we define them in ourselves and when we feel something is wrong do we ignore it and carry one or do we find a way back to where we were. If it is set in stone then can't that stone be made to break, to shatter and to move, but if things are not so cosmic surely then we make these things our own and the words and the power of those words are things we should hold true?

So this babble is purely a time dilation that runs through my head where things speed up and slow down depending on the possibilities of what could be and what may never come as the contradictions within this statement exists themselves and thoughts travel with them to far of places never before seen and from distant memories clasped so tight they will never fall into shadow I ask the questions and your mind will answer them as you read. But the questions are always hypothetical until you make them real and that is what is needed to grab that thing you desire and never let go, unless they ask you to but then if you let go and the desire is still there in both surely the clouds that come with it and the paths that alter your direction will change and flow like the rivers and the stone though worn away will become a pebble and a memory of a time you wanted and a time you saw. Which you could always achieve it you let yourself bend with the river and realise that not everything you hear or are told is what you should do. Belief in yourself and not others or the world is what is needed when finding the way but it always helps to ask for directions when you're no longer sure because something has altered your perception of what should be.