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Friday, 22 November 2013

Ego, confidence, arrogance?

So I am trying to develop an ego. I am trying to build confidence in my skills and with it I guess self worth and maybe the ability to like who I am. Though I do like who I am, just not my surroundings or my situation.
Which in turn leads to the possibility of I do actually have an ego?
I never like what I design I am my own worst critic, yet I designed it and I will carry on designing it and building upon it to make it better constantly tweaking the idea till I get it right. I always believe in the idea so does that mean I do have confidence?
I just don't trust my own feedback so I rely on other people's as I have faith in their views and that they will be honest with me and once I start ripping my own idea to bits they will normally put me in my place.
I know who I am and I realise I rely on others.
Yet I also know that if I let myself believe in myself and build my confidence up to much I can tip and become arrogant and I didn't like him.

I need keeping in my place and the reassurance that what I am doing is good or right, but you can never let me believe too much in myself or the scales would tip and that, that is not the person I ever want to be again.

noun: ego; plural noun: egos
a person's sense of self-esteem or self-importance.
"he needed a boost to his ego"
synonyms: self-esteem, self-importance, self-worth, self-respect, self-conceit, self-image, self-confidence; More
the part of the mind that mediates between the conscious and the unconscious and is responsible for reality testing and a sense of personal identity.
(in metaphysics) a conscious thinking subject.

noun: confidence
the feeling or belief that one can have faith in or rely on someone or something.
"we had every confidence in the staff"
synonyms: trust, belief, faith, credence, conviction; More
antonyms: distrust, scepticism
the state of feeling certain about the truth of something.
"I can say with confidence that I have never before driven up this street"
a feeling of self-assurance arising from an appreciation of one's own abilities or qualities.
"she's brimming with confidence"
synonyms: self-assurance, self-confidence, self-reliance, belief in oneself, faith in oneself, positiveness, assertiveness, self-possession, nerve, poise, aplomb, presence of mind, phlegm, level-headedness, cool-headedness, firmness, courage, boldness, mettle, fortitude More
antonyms: doubt, uncertainty
the telling of private matters or secrets with mutual trust.
"someone with whom you may raise your suspicions in confidence"
a secret or private matter told to someone under a condition of trust.
plural noun: confidences
"the girls exchanged confidences about their parents"
synonyms: secret, private affair, confidential matter, confidentiality, intimacy

noun: arrogance
the quality of being arrogant.
"the arrogance of this man is astounding"
synonyms: haughtiness, conceit, hubris, self-importance, egotism, sense of superiority; More
antonyms: humility, modesty