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Sunday, 20 December 2009

BLANK

Thats about all.
My Brain is failing.
Its one of them days.
As I am the world in my head is forever spinning, things appear things travel idea's come.
Concepts rise and fall.
Illogical thoughs, logical thoughs, destruction of things we know reimagining of things we dont.
My brain wont work.
There is just a void of nothing.
I dont like nothing.
I dont like not being able to think.

Today I have lost faith in the human race once more.
I have watched what is to come, I have seen what has been.
I lose the grasp once more on the species that I am once more becoming ashamed to be part of.

Snow's nice though. Makes a change from the heat.

Madness, sainity, logic, digression, interaction, transformation, completetion, design, reissue, rebuild, calculate, amend, align, destroy, create, faith, hope, light, truth, lies, fantasy, reality.

Words all word that bring may things to us all. Though not all bring many things to some.

TRUST. FAITH. HOPE. TRUTH. LIFE.

Is it time to give in?
Is it time to carry on?
Is it time to move along?
Is it time to think?
Is it time to STOP?

Questions, quiestions mumbles from some where.

Sunday, 13 December 2009

Something I may never get to do.
I know i write alot of games, I design the mechanics, I work out back grounds, I play with different concepts and idea's and I do this on a fairly regular basis, Ive written mini books around idea's i have come up with drawn art work and built many many different 3D models to give me an idea to play with, and this is more for me to see what I'm working on more than to share.
So I have several table tops on the go at the moment, 1 based before man, 1 based after man and 1 thats based on movies.
But what Id like to do, and this is slightly insane and im doubting any company will ever back me on this is a table top on PC, and Im not talking dawn of war, or bloodbowl, Im talking a true table top on PC. One where you see the dice roll, get to master your models, some thing along the lines of spore, but so very different.
Tha ability to take component parts and put them together, colour them how you want them, and then put them into a game world, where you get to fight against computer laid opponents. Or even the possibility of a RTS which you take your forces and build them but having a multi player option to allow you to do this.
I dont know, I still dont know if any one would drag me into do this or even assist in me doing this, unfortunatly this is one of them paths Im going to have to go down the road on my own with and try and sell myself in order to do it.
Unfortunatly I feel I am going to have to learn to sell myself more and belive in myself and my products.

Friday, 27 November 2009

Friday feeling

Friday, this is the point when we all jump around sit watching the clock waiting for 5pm and then out the door to start our weekends.

Or in my case like a vast number of people out there inthe world I sit watching the clock waiting for 5pm to go home have a meal do some things and then go to bed get up in the morning and go to work once more.

No such thing as a weekend any more.

Though alot of us know this we work 4 day on 2 day off shifts, we work monday to fridays, we work nights we work mornings, we work what are supposed to be holidays and so on, there really is no weekend.

Weekends are there for kids & students.

Working schedual for the majority of us means we work weekends.

So this weekend, the office guys get 2 days off, the store staff get to work, and the factory people carry on.

Wednesday, 25 November 2009

Fire in the eyes

So some times my brain ends up working for me, some times agasint me.
I just ripped to bits an insurance company.
I got asked for an interview, I went for said interview.
I seemed to be interviewing them more than them interviewing me.
So he suggested i had a hair cut. "not happening"
Any way this goes on for about 40 minutes, few attempts to get into my head. "Failed"
Decides to show me the company slide show.
Mistake I start picking the company to bits, the figures dont work, the payment system is well wrong, and this goes on and on, so I can now see him starting to question the company. Really if your going to interview me then you need to know every thing about your company backwards, even what the small print thats nearly impossible to read says, becasue before i go into that interview I will know every thing there is to know about the way the company works.
I got a coffee and got to see some one I hadnt seen in years.
I dont want to sell insurance, I did need the practise in interview, I wasnt in a suit "no way" I got to watch the other guy he was interviewing "looked so nervous"
Once more back to the many guides to doing things, and guess what I dont do a thing by the book.
My brain works so differently now to the book its becoming intresting to watch people working by it.
The only thing the book dont teach you is to adapt and guess what you have to adapt to deal with me.

Tuesday, 24 November 2009

Mind Control

I know odd title for what im going to talk about.
This is a look at all sorts of things with in a group idea.
As some one attempting to be a war games writter / designer and working on my own constantly its one of them questions I often ask myself.
Is it worth doing?
Well I enjoy getting my mind out of my head and into words so the writring side I do enjoy.
The sculpting side well Im still learning, and while scenary concept work is simple, the actual building of a design in my head is not so easy.
Ive been playing for years with plastercine and for the last few years working with many different forms of model building materials, green stuff, brown stuff, milliput, fimo, and now procreate, each gives very different finishs and are better for different things.
Though thats not the issue, Im still training to sculpt and as such I dont like my work, I look at people that have been sculpting for years and I go WOW alot. Thats because they make some amazing looking figures.
Now this isnt a major problem, im getting better every day and I find new ideas coming out and my models once more move further and further away from what people expect them to be.
Now this is the hard part, you see with my vision being so far away from what every one expects them to be, your fighting against a tide of gamers that only play certain brands of games and as such these games are pretty much set in stone for concepts. Exampls, Dwarfs are bearded short beings, Trolls are massive ugly viscious things, Elves should be thin and beutiful, and humans well there human.
Im hoping your understanding what Im on about here.
So the question possed as on many gaming sites at the moment is how do you get people to play games that they dont play, how do you move people into some thing new.
I know a few people do play several games and I also understand that due to costs and so on some people can only afford play maybe one game.
As allways though i have to ask what do people want in a table top war game?
Thats in my head today.

Sunday, 22 November 2009

Questions & Contemplations

So, Blogs, what are they exactly?
Reasons to rant?
Excuses to write down intimate thoguhts?
Diaries for public intrest?
So many questions never enough time!
24 hours in a day and when you only sleep for 4 of them youd think youd be able to get stuff done.
But No never enough hours in the day.
Maybe more sleep less work.
Maybe less sleep more work.
Ancient Toys R Us advert!
Sorry going sideways.
Yeah thats completely made forget what I was doing here.

Brain just aynt what it usta be

For those that arent wondering I seem to have a bit of an insane creative streak, which unfortunatly runs into my normal life.
There are loads of books and concepts that exsist that say we have to be nice to customers, we should do the books like this, fileing should be done this way, words should be spelled this way, things should be done that way.
Well I didnt read any of those books, they got boring really quickly.
Ive allways done things how i feel they should be done and Im allways going to.
Any one reading "Here in koa" at the moment and trying to work out where its going well tough, its going where its going and it will get there when it gets there.
I know it looks like a book and I know I said I was writting a book, but its kind of becoming a little mini written series.
I know 200 to 500 words a section isnt a book, its a lot of stories converging on one point.

Not what Im babbling about here, was just the way my mind was going, I was actualy going to go on about my job and humans and generaly bitch about the level of the economics system with in the world at the moment, I just though Id plug my web site mid rant.

Though Im now giggling at a talking goldfish in a bowl falling down a water sldie, My mind wil not focus on one thing at the moment, see the brains walking around going look there seems to be more intresting over there, am I a cat?

Im not a cat, paws keys messy.

I think Im generally just trying to get thoughts out at the moment, just not overly easy when you dont have interaction. Like to babble and reply to see where Im babbling too, think this is probably why I dont blog, (Im going with 1 g) its the non instant interaction.

Any way yeah I think we get where this is ment to be going. Or demonstrating.
I dont want to label posts do I?

Some one answer my questions damn it.

Back to twittering, Oh the wondrefull thign about twi..................................

Saturday, 21 November 2009

presently in the 1st day of...

Blogg's or blogging does it have 1 g or 2? I dont know in my head it should be Blog, not Blogg.
I dont know, Im trying to work out if I care, Im sure some one will fill me in eventualy.
Internets full of people with thoughts Im sure some one will give me one.

Right Gingerbread flavoured coffee rules.

My Job Sucks.

People can be nice.

Most customers arent.

General my feeling of the last few days are simple.
1: I need to finish writing my book.
2: I need to find a new job.
3: Why dont companies ever get back to you even just to say thanks for intrest but not intrested.
4: Why am I watching TV Im not a fan of TV.
5: Do fantasy creaturs have to be what we belive them to be?
6: Yeah there is a 6 but its personal.
7: So is 7.
8: Hmm I might set up a blog.
9: How do you actualy spell blogg.
10: Im writting a list.

You get the idea of where this is going slowly and badly.

right going, 23:21 got work in the morning and well generaly ah who cares.

Blog's

Some thing I swore I would never do was sign up to a blog, and start writting one.
I know I probably will forget about it and eventualy move on.
But for now I'm here to do some ranting raveing and rambling.
I used to run an MSN community called fallens village, it lasted for many many years till MSN decided they would no longer be having them. This then moved to Multi erm multi I dont know where it went I know it is still there though. I just cant remember where here is.
In my normal bordom and depression which can take me to very intresting places from time to time, I though sod it and decided to set this up. Was either that or continue to enjoy Sir Paul mcCartney playing on the BBC Children in need thing on BBC 3, which Im going to do any way but still I wanted to write alot.
Now I used to be very secretive sand keep things to myself and hide the person that I am from view, while making comments on things around me and so on. Never giving out much info on me.
Guess what thats probably not going to change.
I am likely to ramble about society from time to time I do that and maybe occasionaly give my thoughts on a world gone wrong, have ago about customers dismantel companies and generaly rant more than any thing.
Maybe I will write some thing about me one day maybe I wont, its all generaly down to how my mood takes me when Im in here.
Yeah I babble yes I ramble but I get there in the end.
So here is my OMG I joined a blog and from there maybe a blog I want to write when I decide the time comes.